Simple Businesses Despite Busy Brains w/ Diann Wingert

Having too many ideas & a busy brain is a burden. And entrepreneurs know this all too well.

The idea hits you & you immediately want to act on it! 

But that’s just not sustainable especially for anyone who’s a solopreneur. So… what can you do instead?

Diann Wingert, host of the ADHD-ish Podcast, joins me for an enlightening conversation! I was fortunate enough to be a guest on her podcast, & we knew we had to keep the party going.

In this episode, Diann shares her theory about entrepreneurs & ADHD, how business owners can uncomplicate their businesses, & strategies to help solopreneurs get more ish done!

Connect w/ Diann:

Website

ADHD-ish Podcast

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Transcript

0:04

Welcome back to the Basic Bee podcast. I am so thrilled to have you here as well as my friend Diane Wingert. I'm thrilled because she's on here. We're going to be talking about really how to uncomplicate your business and I'm sure other things when you have a busy brain and lots of endless ideas. Not that I know what that's like at all. But before I bring Diane on, here's a little bit about her. After a 20 year career as a psychotherapist, Diane pivoted into coaching solopreneurs and small business owners. Her passion is helping ambitious outliers create profitable, sought after businesses and balance, purpose, profits and peace of mind. Diane has extensive experience working with neurodivergent business owners, especially those who are gifted ADHDish or both. On the personal side, Diane loves dark fiction, strong coffee, hello and laughing out loud. She's also a peloton enthusiast, practicing Buddhist, and host of the top rated ADHDish podcast which you'll catch me on soon. And if it's out, I will make sure it's linked below. Diane, hello. We've already been having so much fun. I kind of feel bad they missed the pre talk but. Oh well, me too. They're here for the main event. That's right. Speaking of that, as we were chit chatting before, you were sharing some of these really great ideas that even you have. So I think we should just jump right into it. Give us the brief recap of that, of what you were sharing with all these ideas. I think what we're mainly gonna get into today, Brittany, is, you know, when you have a busy brain, you may have ADHD or be ADHD is, but having too many great ideas is actually a burden because as soon as you have it, I always say the best idea I've ever had is the one at the top of the stack. It's hot, it's spicy, and it is probably the best idea I've ever had. At least that's what I'm thinking at the time. But I have literally wasted more brilliant ideas than I've been able to bring to life. Because as soon as I start digging in, then comes the next one and the next one and the next one. That may sound like a great quality to have and something you'd even envy, but as time goes by and your pile of discarded brilliance grows ever taller, it creates a lot of sadness and shame and regret. I was just sharing with you before we hit record that I really want to release an episode on ADHD Ish about the characters in Wicked, the two female leads, because I think there's a lot to be learned from them, especially for independents like us, and especially those that are neurospicy. So watch for that in the future. I'm so excited and I try to keep an eye on whenever a guest comes on. I really do my best of, oh, they actually did that thing. Or they followed through with this. And I try to add in the link. So I will do my bestest to pay attention and watch for that episode to come out. So there's a little fire under your tush for that. And I'll give you a friendly nudge on Voxer if you happen to miss it. Yes, but what we're talking about is good ideas and not letting them go to waste. And because this has literally been my intention entire life's journey, I even had some real arguments with my spouse not so many years ago, because when we first met almost 30 years ago, he was just absolutely dazzled by how clever I was and how many wonderful ideas that I had. It was initial part of our getting to know each other. But as time went by, there was a day where it literally broke my heart. And I realized, this is your own damn fault. He said, diane, I don't want to hear it. And I was like, what? I was literally just about to regale you with my latest brilliant idea. He said, I have literally seen you have one brilliant idea after the next. Year after year after year, you never do anything with any of them. I literally don't want to hear it anymore. And at first I thought, what an asshole. How can I be married to this guy? But you know what? He was right. And so I learned having a lot of creativity, having a lot of cleverness, and actually wanting to do something with it instead of wasting it. You need systems and you need to have some ways of screening and making decisions that are really intentional and strategic, because otherwise we just think, oh, I'll do it later, or I'll do another one, or, oh, the next one will be even better. I don't have to do anything. And I've certainly met many of neurodivergent people over the years that this is one of their biggest regrets is that they didn't do something. So what I advise people now is. And the approach that I use, the approach that I teach my private coaching clients, is to have, like, what you might think of as a decision algorithm when it comes to your ideas that include your values, your goals, your capacity, and what level of support you have access to because oftentimes we just get the idea and we either go running off with it, forget everything that we're currently, currently committed to and working on, or we try to shove it into the corners of our life and do a half assed job of it, or we tell ourselves, I'll do it later, and then we don't. So I think our values as a screen, our current goals, not our someday maybe goals, our capacity, that's probably the biggest thing. And then what level of support we have. Because if it's an idea that really needs to happen now and we can acquire, hire, borrow, purchase additional support, then maybe this is the time. But usually it isn't because we've already got a full plate. And I'm sure you can relate to this yourself. Me? No. Me? No. Yes. I very much am lying in this moment. No, I mean truly, because it's been fun. And I talk about this in an episode where Jordan Gill was on the podcast as well and we were talking about just experimenting out loud and having an idea and running with it. So this is almost like the complete counter to that conversation of like, okay, how do we actually run these brilliant ideas through some kind of funnel in order to know which one to prioritize, which one to actually take action on and which ones? Again, maybe we can just table it, maybe get to it in the future, maybe not. And those we're making the choice to not get to, or we're making the choice to like, that's probably not going to happen. But yeah, like the experimenting out loud and the, oh, I heard a bunch of conversations about this thing. So I'm going to create a workshop and then you do it and then it's like, okay, I did that thing that one time, but maybe I'm not making the most of it. And going back and using that same funnel, using that same email system or whatever it may be, I'm just like making it 15 million times harder on myself because I'm like, idea, run with it. I think this is really important to say if you have ADHD or you're wildly creative or both not being able to act on an idea right after you get it. It requires a lot of discipline, it requires a lot of restraint, it requires a lot of delayed gratification. None of which is very exciting or fun. I mean, half the fun of these ideas is actually imagining them. Like, one of my favorite songs is Pure Imagination from the Willy Wonka movie. Yeah, when I'm in a bad mood, I just Turn it on YouTube, crank it up. Sing it out loud. I'm not that great a singer, but it always makes me feel better because I think just being in that place of imagination. If you think about it this way, when we're having the idea, whether it's fully formed or half baked, it's pure, it's pristine. It is totally undefiled by real world experience. Failure, mistakes, obstacles. Oh, I actually don't know how to do this. There's nothing that can interfere with the purity and the brilliance and the beauty of it, which is why we get such a massive dopamine download. This is kind of crude, but I say your brain has a hard on. So it's like you get so much like joy juice in your brain when you have these ideas. Now, I would be the last person to say to you or even to someone you know I'm working with, stick that in the idea parking lot. I do have an idea parking lot. I know you do too. We've talked about this. I do put things in the idea parking lot, but not immediately. When I'm first having the idea, I don't want to deprive myself of the dopamine, of the joy, of the excitement, of just the pure magic of having that idea. I want to enjoy those experiences. I want to enjoy the creativity and the imagination. Once I've had that moment, the dopamine is already starting to recede. I'm starting to, like, balance out a little bit, and then I can make the decision to put it in the idea parking lot sometimes. I've talked about this on another podcast interview. I have my team let me share my latest ideas, and they have been told, be wildly enthusiastic, be very excited, ask some good questions. And then when I'm wrapping up, say, okay, boss, where does this go in our priorities? Is this a Q1 thing, a Q2 thing? Shall we just put it in the idea parking lot and go back and review it later? By this point, I'm already starting to feel like, oh, yeah, shit, I really don't. I. I really can't do this right now. I tell you what, let's just table it. Remind me at our next review. And even though I know it's totally staged and I've told them what to say and I've told them to pretend to be excited, even if they're not, man, it still works because I just kind of need to have the moment. So I think what I'm saying is, yes, we need systems so that we can actually capture those good ideas but not have them hijack us And I don't want to avoid the experience either, because I think that's part of what's so fun about being your own boss, is you get to at least have the ideas, even if you don't implement them. Yeah, but I love the point that you're making of just letting yourself have that experience. And that even if all you're doing with that idea is having that experience of dreaming it up and sharing it, maybe that's the only purpose that serves and that's okay. I think so, yeah. We can't do them all. Right. It's like, because, you know, we all have to practice time management. I know it's boring and tedious, but beyond that, we also have to practice energy management and obligation management. Because if you're anything like me, and I think you are, you probably volunteer for a lot of things. You probably say yes to a lot of things that come your way, and then you already have all your other existing priorities that are in process. Where is all this supposed to fit? Unless you want to give up sleep, exercise, fun, you know, social life, family time, you have to say no to other things and often to yourself. And I think that's what we're really talking about. It's not a hard no. It's like, don't tell me about this. It's like, no, let's talk about it for a minute and then let's maybe table it or realize, actually, I don't really think that's on brand. Maybe we can let someone else do it and enjoy watching them. That brings up a good point. Have you ever had an idea that you decided not to take action on, but maybe you shared it with someone else because it would be, you know, a better fit for them? I have. And actually, this is so funny, Brittany, you're reminding me. One of my countless business ideas that I have not manifested is, I think, like an idea parking lot. That's like an open source for people who have endless creative ideas, but they know they can't really devote themselves to it. They can't really commit to it, so they put it in the idea parking lot. It's like a swap meet. It's like, anybody who wants an idea, come and get it. If I have extras that I don't have the capacity to use, I'll put them there. I mean, you know, for a fact, people with ADHD are really good at starting things and really shitty at finishing. So the idea that this, I guess it would really be an idea swap meet. You wouldn't have any attachment. I'M Buddhist. So I try to practice non attachment, including non attachment to ideas that I'm not using and I'm not going to use. Like, let somebody else run with it. Sometimes I've tried to get someone else to take one of my ideas and run with it. I was just much more excited about that idea than they were. So it just didn't happen. I find myself dreaming up ideas for other people. I used to just share that with them. And I have since reconditioned myself to asking, like, hey, if I ever have an idea related to this, would you want to hear it? Because who knows, they may have their own, you know, idea parking lot that they need to take to a swap meet. Or I'm just much more enthusiastic and excited about it than they are. Like, yeah, I have had to learn and I continue to learn because this is my nature and it always will be. When I have an idea for someone else, I get just as excited about it if I'm going to keep it. And I'm like, oh, oh, oh, let me tell you something, this is what you can do. And I just tell them the whole thing. And I'm thinking, how generous and how thoughtful and how kind. And they're thinking, you're fucking scary. Like, back off, back away slowly. Keep your hands where I can see em. You are super scary. Because it's just too much. You know, it can be. It can be. And not everybody's burdened by this, but those listening who are, you know, when you know, you know, I think it's personally a wonderful trait to have, but we have to be able to separate ourself from this sense of urgency. Like, well, I have this idea now. What are you going to do with it? Sometimes, as you said, just having it, that was its own reward. You're literally stoking the creativity furnace and fire and just keeping the pilot light from going out. You don't actually have to cook something every single time you make heat. Maybe you can just let it be or maybe it'll come back around. And I'm sure you have found some of your very best ideas, especially the ones that the market has a demand for, or people are literally coming to you and say, hey, I need help with this. Do you do that? That's oftentimes the stuff, it comes back around. It comes back around, it comes back around. So I think those are the ones that almost inevitably need to happen because we have the demand and the supply matching up at the same time. Right, exactly. So I think I shared this on our conversation on your podcast, which again, I'll make sure that I link to that once it's live. So I will let myself have ideas. I will write them down. I just have this, like, ever growing, I note with all of these ideas because there's definitely the sense of urgency to at least write that down so I don't lose the idea, right? But then I leave it there usually, and I will act on it if and when someone or a couple someones come back to me and they have that same idea. So that happened. And that's actually how the blogging guide for business owners was created. Because I had the idea and I was like, I don't have space right now. I don't know what that would look like. And then I had like three people within the next couple months come back to me and I was like, oh, okay, so people would want this. All right, well, what would you want in it? And then I was able to ask follow up questions so I could make sure that again, like your point, with energy, I could make sure that I was creating something that would be helpful and would feel beneficial and would feel like the easiest yes ever for people to come in and buy it. So on that note, what are you seeing some of the mistakes that people are making when it comes to having so many ideas? What's most typical is this feeling that I can only create something. I can only build something. For example, an offer, a product, a program, a service. When I'm in the heat of passion with the idea, I always think of it as like, you know, if you're the kind of person who is an ideator like I am, it's kind of like falling in love. It's. You're completely infatuated with this idea. And a lot of us tend to become sort of consciously or unconsciously thinking, I can only do something when I have that feeling. Well, you know what, what's true is that feeling tends to peak and then dissipate. Most of the time, you cannot maintain that level. And if we maintain that sort of standard, that I can only create this new product, this new service, this new offer, even a podcast episode or a blog post when I'm in that, you know, infatuated phase with the new idea, that is very dangerous because I promise you, it will not last all the way till the end. Unless it's something you can create in an hour you might be able to create. I think of it as like, in the heat of passion. Like, I'm madly in love with this idea right now. And you Just grab your microphone and you get busy. Right. But most of the time, if it's something that, that is an actual brand asset like some of your programs are, that takes time. So kind of having that expectation of ourself that I can only create when I have that supercharged feeling, all the emotion, all the energy, all the excitement, all the optimism, all the drive, all of it, you're not going to be able to get all the way to the finish line. So I would say of all the people I've worked with in the last decade, that's the number one problem, is not being able to maintain that level of interest, drive, passion, purpose from start to finish. So again, we have to build things in to kind of keep it going. I use the pilot light analogy a lot. You can't let your pilot light go all the way out. You can turn up the heat, but if you let it go out, it's going to be like rubbing two sticks together on a camp ground, literally trying to be like, you know, Cub Scout trying to figure out how to. So it's like you have to learn how to idea capture. Sometimes it goes into the idea of parking lot. If you are able to start right away, it has to be broken down into chunks that you can then map out over time. And I would say almost without fail, vast majority of us need accountability to see it all the way through. Focus, follow through, finish are three different phases. And unless your idea can be completed in an hour, relying on that infatuation stage to get you there, it ain't gonna happen. And then you're gonna feel like, I don't have what it takes to be successful because I can't be consistent. Well, there are systems and structures and supports and ways to artificially turn up the heat when it starts to go out on its own. And all of those things can be learned. Yeah, they can. So to ground that in a little bit and help those of us who maybe haven't ever thought of running these ideas through any kind of filter or taking a minute to just sit with it or something like that. How can we gauge our capacity? Is there anything that you would recommend or even just like looking at, like the energy wave is almost also what I'm thinking about. How do we gauge our capacity? How do we gauge our capacity? How do we really look at what our energy is doing? Like, so I'm pretty aware of what my energy is doing. I think you are. Yeah. But not everyone is. Yeah. So it's not lost on me. So how could we maybe ground that in for them and give them something to look for or become aware of. This is a really great question. One of the things I teach and try to practice to the best of my ability is what I call radical self acceptance. And it took me a long time to get here. But what that fundamentally means is I refuse to blame shame, disparage, or hate on myself for any of my ADHD traits. And so if I thought I was really excited to do something and then I fizzle out, I will not hate myself for that. If I lose interest, if I lose focus, if I get distracted, if I change my mind, if it turns out to be much more complex and labor intensive than I thought, I'm not going to hate myself for that. And because I refuse to have any bad feelings about myself for that. This takes practice. And I have talked myself down off the ledge a few times. Sometimes the project that I want to bring forth is not something that I can do by myself from start to finish. There are parts of it that are absolutely in my wheelhouse. They're in my zone of genius. They're aligned with my strengths and my values, and I should absolutely do those parts. But oftentimes I need to bring in other people, either for support, for accountability, or for skills that I don't have. And I know a lot of people listening may be solopreneurs. They don't have any kind of support or assistance. This isn't something that we necessarily always have to pay for. Sometimes we can trade skills with other people. So we look at the project that we're trying to imagine. And yes, we have to imagine our capacity, but also our strengths. Because if we're not working in our strengths, it's going to take a lot more capacity. It's why I do a podcast instead of a blog. Well, I actually turn my podcast into a blog because it's easier for me to speak than to write. Right? Yeah, but like, understanding. Okay, you know, I probably get an offer every week, hey, you've got so much great content, why don't you turn it into a book? Of course, it's someone who helps people turn their content into a book who happens to be writing me. But hey, stay with me. No, like, because that's not within my capacity and it's also not in my wheelhouse. Now, could I turn that over to somebody else and have them do it for me? If I had the resources to pay for that, I probably would. So it's like kind of paying attention. And a great way to figure this out is, what is a project that you have completed successfully. Just imagine that. Did it take longer than you thought it would or less time than you thought it would? Why was that? Some of us are able to get an enormous amount of work done in a very short time when we have the right conditions. The kids are with the other parent. We've got at least a block of four hours to ourself. And it's at a certain time of day when our brain is in its creative capacity mode. It's those types of things like managing our circumstances instead of just trying to muscle through it, or not paying attention to the fact that we all have different energy modes based on where we are in our menstrual cycle, based on the time of day, the season of the year, what else is going on in our life. I know it sounds like I'm making it really complicated, but actually it's paying attention to how we function differently in different conditions and then creating the conditions that will help us do the project that we want to do and get help with the rest. Was that too complicated? No, no, no. I find it very helpful to hear those different types of things because then as you're talking, I'm analyzing that. So I'm imagining also that a lot of listeners will feel the same way because it just helps to draw your awareness to those different things. Again, those are things that I just naturally pay attention to, but not everyone does or like. Even over the years, I've heard different ones. Well, here's the thing. I think a lot of us have heard a lot of advice from the Internet celebrities, the gurus, the big names. And they'll say things like, if you want to be successful as an entrepreneur, you have to start your day at 5am you have to have a morning routine, you have to batch your work, you have to time block, you need an assistant, you need this, you that. Honestly, there are no absolutes. Every single piece of advice should come with an it depends warning label. It depends on what you've got going on in your life. It depends on your lifestyle. It depends on if you have other things going on, like a chronic illness or chronic pain or caregiving responsibilities, what age and stage you are. You know, some people can only work four hours a day and then they're spent. So taking those things into consideration also helps when you're deciding on your creative projects and which ideas you bring to bear. Because most of us have more creativity than we have the time, energy and capacity. So if we want to be satisfied, like it pays to try to invest in bringing the best ideas forward and then sharing the ones that we can't. And I don't know, maybe you and I could collaborate on the idea swap meet. I have a feeling there's a bunch of unloved and neglected projects that somebody else could probably take down the field and across the finish line, but we never will. Yeah, I'm getting this visual of just like Toy Story and all of the toys just like piled in a box at the end of a driveway. Oh my gosh, that would be so cool. Even if we don't end up doing the idea swap, like, hopefully, if you're listening and you're like, oh, that sounds really great, go try to do that. Share it with someone. I'm sure you know of someone or if you don't, someone, you know, know someone. So, yeah, trade your creative projects. Actually, you know what that's such a good idea is like, if you're better at starting than you are at finishing. And I think if you're ADHD ish, that's probably true for the majority. There are other people who are not as good at generating creative ideas. They are so impressed with brains like ours because they are not an idea generator. But they could take your half baked, half finished, no longer the apple of your eye idea and bring it all the way home and wow, wouldn't it be great to partner with somebody like that and then share the benefits? Exactly. Or hire someone like that if you can. Right? Yeah, that too. That's been a big one for me has been the asking for support. Asking for and receiving. The receiving. Right, the receiving. I think just being culturally conditioned as female all of our lives, I've never met a woman who found it easy to ask and receive because we all suffer from this notion that we're supposed to figure it all out and we're supposed to do everything ourselves. Not true. It's a huge burden and a man would never expect that of himself. Just saying. And if you're meeting a woman where they have gotten to that point of asking for and receiving support, I can't think of a single person. It's generally something that they've learned or that they've worked on. So also know that too. If you're hearing this and you're like, but I know so and so ask them or think through if they even like, started out that way. Ask her how she got there, because she's probably got some juicy goodness that would be very timely for you to hear. And then introduce her to me. Like, pick us up. Seriously. I want to know. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so as we're wrapping up, I know you have a really cool guide that we can link to and share a little bit about that and then where people can find you. Absolutely. The guide we're referring to is basically how to make decisions as a entrepreneur with adhd. There are several specific techniques in there. Some journal prompts, a technique using traffic lights. I try to make as fun as possible. And absolutely all of the strategies are tested and effective, but you use the ones that work for you. Ignore the rest. I'm sure you will link to the guide in your show notes. And I like to say, if you like the sound of my voice and what I have to say with it, you should absolutely check out ADHD ish podcast. Brittany's episode is like number 250. So I've been at this for a little while, and there's a lot of great stuff all the way back to 2020. Oh, that's so exciting. Yeah. And of course, all of the links will be everywhere, and if for some reason something happens, just come find me. Oh, and if you like social media, my accounts were recently hacked and I lost most of them. But I one left I'm clinging on to, and that is LinkedIn. And I also have a weekly newsletter on LinkedIn, also called ADHDish, so you can check me out there as well. And your writing is actually amazing over there. So I don't know if you speak it and then you write it or how that works, but it's amazing. Here's the thing. I am a good writer. I mean, I was a psychotherapist. I, you know, had to write like a zillion page master's thesis and stuff. I am a good writer, but I find that the words flow out of me more naturally and more easily when I'm speaking. Plus, it doesn't feel good to swear when you're writing. But I definitely swear. You do? When I speak. So do you. Maybe you gotta tutor me, you know, But I do the podcast first and then I take the writing from there. That's probably why you like it. Yeah. No, I mean, it makes a lot of sense. Play to your strengths, right? Absolutely. That's part of what we're doing. When you have lots of great ideas, pass them not only through your values and your capacity and the amount of support you have, pass them through your strengths. Monitor and align with your strengths because they will take you a lot farther and they will be a lot more fun in the going. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for joining me for sharing this with all of us. I think it's going to really resonate with a lot of people. Girl, I will hang out with you anytime, any place, anywhere. Just ask. I love it. Thanks for tuning in. I'll catch you next time.